The email came back to me marked urgent: "My husband most put out by my choice of Sex and the City man," it read. Aladdin dvd(I had asked my girlfriends which man was their ideal). "He seems to feel it reflects badly on him. Have been asked to immediately retract Aidan, and clarify that Big was, in fact, the right answer."
Confess. Every woman has her favourite SATC man. And every other woman – and it seems man – potentially judges her for her choice. married with children dvd
Forget whether you believe you're a Carrie or a Samantha, the real question is: what does it say about you if choose Aidan or Big, Berger or Aleksandr Petrovsky?
The plotthat 70s show dvd of the second SATC film, due out next month, remains a closely guarded secret, but one thing has been revealed: Aidan, the nice guy furniture maker who was engaged to Carrie until she dumped him, returns. Carrie, now married to Wall Street hotshot Big, is torn between her two big loves.
In the past we've been distracted by the Manolos and Manhattan; but the real accessories in Sex and the City were never the shoes, they were the men. They, more than any designer label, were shorthand for how a woman wanted to be defined – as sexual, an intellectual, as a fantasist or a realist. And whether you favoured Aidan or Big exemplified this.Naruto dvd
When the series began back in 1998, however, it was very different. Women were at the forefront, with their men playing a subsidiary role. Early on, they weren't even known by their names but given monikers such as "toxic bachelors" (serial seducers) and "modelisers" (those who would only sleep with models).
"In lots of films and TV seriesthe office dvd box set
, women are reduced to 2-D characters – we're used to that," says John Smith, the novelist and commentator. "Whereas in Sex and the City you have four strong female leads, and a changing cast of men who don't develop as characters in the same way – a neat bit of role reversal."
But as the series progressed and gripped us, women began to debate which of Carrie's longer-term lovers they would choose as a partner. Was it the alpha male, the self-deprecating artist, the boy-next-door or the seductive foreigner? Such Cosmopolitan-fuelled conversations have even translated into academic study – the most recent being a paper published last month entitled How Big Is Big Enough? Steve, Big, and Phallic Masculinity in 'Sex and the City' by Laura Brunner from the University of Maryland.Everybody loves Raymond dvd
Aidan-fanciers may not want to read on. Ms Brunner concludes that the character that dominates is Big, Carrie's long-term on-off love. "Big is a classic kind of old-style New York man," says Brunner. "He is a conglomeration of characters from old movies, for example Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca, and Cary Grant in An Affair to Remember. And it is no accident that he is powerful and rich, because consumerism is a big part of the attractive fantasy of New York the show created."Frasier dvd
"I think most women secretly go for Big," says Ellie Levenson, author of The Noughtie Girl's Guide to Feminism. "He has lots of female fans, and he's undoubtedly the sexiest. He has the hubba hubba factor."
I can't agree. Being a knight in shining Armani doesn't compensate for thinking that jilting a woman in spectacular fashion at the altar (as he did in the first SATC film) is acceptable behaviour. Or that saying "Abso--------lutely" puts him on a par with Oscar Wilde. I'm clear: any woman who goes for Big needs counselling. Fast.
"It is a fantasy," chides Levenson. "Women know the difference between that and real life. You don't expect to take Big to B&Q." the shield dvd box set
True. But the fact remains, Big's only saving grace in my eyes is that he isn't one of Carrie's other men.
One acquaintance is staunch in her defence of Jack Berger, the novelist who dumps Carrie by Post-it note after she points out (correctly) that no New York woman would wear a hair scrunchie – an error she has spotted in the manuscript of his new book. Berger's fans are keen to praise his wit – it was he (well, OK, the scriptwriters) who coined the now well loved phrase "He's just not that into you" when Miranda worries about how a date has gone and his self-deprecation. Then there's that sexy stubble, his motorbike, and the fact he gorges on chocolate soufflé when depressed.
But all of this is just a cover for total self-obsession. Levenson agrees: "The Post-it note was bad but, if I remember rightly, he couldn't get to sleep without listening to frogs and crickets chirping either. I'd struggle with that."
Yet Berger appears catch of the decade when put next to artist Aleksandr Petrovsky (played by former ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov), the Russian artist who lures Carrie to Paris in the final series. His arrogance and rudeness were in a class of their own but the true horror of this nasty little man was revealed when he slapped Carrie. Among all the women I asked, I couldn't find a single person who would defend him.
So let us return to Aidan, whom many fans hope is returning to sweep Carrie away. He broke up with our heroine after she confessed to a fling with Big. They got back together again, moved in and got engaged but she gets cold feet and calls it off – only to bump into him a couple of years later to find he's married and has a child. But Aidan is still the one many believe she should have stayed with. "Mmmm handsome, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse DVD
creative, a bit rugged, country cabin," says one palpitating TV producer. "Aidan was HOT," says a business woman of my acquaintance. "Nice, but too nice – I think I would get bored," says another SATC fan.
Yet Brunner believes we're misreading Aidan if we dismiss him as a nice guy however. "I know that Aidan is loved by many, but he really is a reactionary character," she warns. "Starting in the 1990s there was a backlash against feminism and an emergence of a 'men's rights movement'. It focused some of its attention on returning to a primal past through men's traditional skills, such as building, craftsmanship and generally working with your hands. That's the light in which we need to understand Aidan."teenage mutant ninja turtles dvd
Yikes. So far from being a puppydog owner with puppydog eyes, Aidan's DIY skills and secret use of hair restorer is code for being an Iron John throwback? Levenson is unconvinced. "Urgh – he was just a bit drippy wasn't he?"
So with even Aidan being damned, maybe the real story of Sex and the City is that like Carrie, we've been looking for love – and the right man – in all the wrong places. Brunner thinks there's only one character who's man enough for the 21st-century woman – and he's a short, Irish-American working-class guy from Queens, who never wears a suit and earns less than his partner. That is, Steve, Miranda's long-time lover.Nip tuck dvd season
"Steve's a very different kind of hero, he means what he says, he wants to commit," says Brunner. "The character also provides an alternative to a version of masculinity that is about having money and power and being upper-class. Steve's is more about fathering. Unlike Big, who is always pictured in suits, Steve cannot afford one. That ends up leaving the viewer with the sense that Steve is actually more honest and real."
Even Steve's (very brief) infidelity in the film pales besides Big's habit of getting married or moving continents without telling Carrie. In fact, the men who come off best are often the least overtly "sexy", as the earlier episodes would have defined them. Curb your enthusiasm dvd seriesCharlotte's husband Harry has bad habits and the ultimate Noughties no-no (a hairy back), while Samantha's toyboy, Smith Jerrod, is a himbo waiter turned supermodel, who only reveals hidden depths when she gets breast cancer.
"I think Sex and the City's secret is that it tells us about growing up," says Levenson. "It ends up not being about the sex at all." Joan Smith agrees: "It was always poised in a difficult place – between the sex and fun, and the fact the women were really looking for long-term relationships."
Yes, all very sensible. And yet… we're not quite as grown up as we try to kid ourselves. Even Brunner confesses: "I side with Steve, but, like Carrie, I can't totally give up on rehabilitating Big. I think that's part of what keeps people watching."
Indeed. Or – annoyingly enough – as Big would put it: "Abso---------lutely." [list][*]
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