christmas is going to suck

never mind. no one cares.

fairydust wrote:

never mind. no one cares.

I care.

I intend to spend my Christmas with friends, Gail. Is there anyone you could visit, or groups of friends you could hang out with?

thanks adam. i'll have to wait and see if i get any christmas invites.

i just feel a great sadness at times without my mom or her house here anymore, but that's to be expected. we can't always have those warm fuzzy christmases with our parents. she just did it up so much at her house with the TONS of decorations and food and candy and presents. she truly was a little kid at christmas. the emptiness of her not being here cuts to the core of my being, after all, she WAS my mom, and she loved me very very much.

this year will take alot of effort on my part, but i'll do what i can so i dont get into a downward spiral. helping others and doing things to make others happy usually brings me great joy, and that's what christmas is kinda about, isn't it? the old "better to give than receive" which really IS true. when we bless others, we usually receive blessings back.

i'm basically a joyful person and people around me would be shocked to see how alone i can feel and how down i get. if your a friend of mine, i love you, and please bear with me. this is a hard time for me. it's tough. it's just tough. hopefully God will guide my steps as i walk into the holidays feeling so alone. hopefully He'll use me to be a blessing to someone else.

You don't have to spend your holidays alone if you don't want to Gail. Ask your friends and see if they want to host a party with you, go christmas shopping with your or have a christmas "brunch" after all the presents have been unwrapped. Or rent a cozy feel good christmas movie and drink hot chocolate with some friends or your son.
And if anyone mentions that they think they might be too busy, tell them your situation and ask if you could maybe tag along with whatever they are doing to celebrate. It might be embarrassing to say that, but a moment of embarrassment will be alot better than having to be alone.

We should all meet for christmas.

Things will turn up. It's true that when you bless others you receive blessings back.

fairydust wrote:

i just feel a great sadness at times without my mom or her house here anymore, but that's to be expected. we can't always have those warm fuzzy christmases with our parents. she just did it up so much at her house with the TONS of decorations and food and candy and presents. she truly was a little kid at christmas. the emptiness of her not being here cuts to the core of my being, after all, she WAS my mom, and she loved me very very much.

hopefully He'll use me to be a blessing to someone else.

The year my grandmother passed away, my mother had a really hard time during the holidays. I think it was the best thing for her to be around other family and friends.
If you want God to make you a blessing for others, he will.

fairydust wrote:

never mind. no one cares.

I read your original message - but I said nothing because I couldn't really start with anything.

I'm not sure how Christmas will be this year... but a couple of weeks ago my grandfather died (grandma a few years back) and the family decided to have Thanksgiving in the old empty house before putting it on the market for sale (which is a flawed plan in and of itself).


Anyway, my Thanksgiving is not going to be a pleasant one. - So I'm kind of there with you Gail, even if in an indirect manner.

Me, my brother, and my mom all have to work on Thanksgiving, so it's going to suck as well.

thanks everyone. i've decided to make little ornaments for my ladies bible group and the 'bingo bunch' at the assisted living place. also, in another bible group, they mentioned they needed cookies for xmas eve at the city mission (for the homeless), so i think my mom would be proud of me if i made her butter balls and they were eaten by underprivileged people. she'd love that actually. it would be a little bit of her that i'm carrying on. she used to bake tons of butter balls and give them out to all her friends, relatives... whoever she could. hahahaa

the key really is doing something positive in our loved ones memory that they themselves would smile at. i've been doing that for many years in memory of my daughter, so this is no exception.

so i feel a bit better today. gotta remember to buy some brandy and cream decocoa for my infamous brandy alexanders that i only make at xmas time. yes! plus a sprinkle of nutmeg. lol

a galpal said that i still have my son and i should make every effort to make it a pleasant xmas season for him. so i will do that too. i guess that christmas is what we make it, after all. and it's only one day. yea, i'm **shit, i just started crying** .... i'm gonna make my mom proud of me. yea. so when i see her again, she'll be proud, just like my daughter is, up in heaven.

aw gail. *hug*

I'm prouda you too. hang in there. those butter balls sound delectable, haha.

yasminspired wrote:

aw gail. *hug*

I'm prouda you too. hang in there. those butter balls sound delectable, haha.

thanks yasmin. thanks for being proud, and yes, those butterballs are very good. don't know when i'll find the time to make them, but i will. maybe i'll take a few nights off the freakin computer. lol

i was in church last night and i started to get emotional, thinking about when i was there on xmas eve last year and my mom was dying. someone asked to pray with me, but i said no, cuz i didn't want to start crying. i started a thread on firestream.net for people who've lost a loved one so it helps to go there. later on tonight, i'll post a few "surviving the holidays without your loved one" tips. sucks tho. no way around it either.

while in church, i did, however, think of tremendous ways God has blessed me and i hope He continues to do so.

http://forums.firestream.net/showthread.php?p=696703#post696703

Have a holly jolly Christmas, it's the best time of the year!!!

franky wrote:

Have a holly jolly Christmas, it's the best time of the year!!!

i'd love to. got any suggestions besides getting drunk?

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

Someone's going to get a lot of points if they can tell me what movie that quote is from, without looking it up.

oh motherfuck i know it but i cant think of it!

OOOOHH its from elf! i remembered

I LOVE elf. cutecute!

ichthuz wrote:

OOOOHH its from elf! i remembered

Ok, now, did you REALLY remember, or did you look it up?

Will Ferrell sucks.

Sh! Elf is one of my favorite movies!

I don't like will ferrell either but I loved that moviiie.

franky wrote:

ichthuz wrote:

OOOOHH its from elf! i remembered

Ok, now, did you REALLY remember, or did you look it up?

no i did. i yelled it for like a minute and a half until i remembered